hasaknightjob | Semi-Secluded Park Bench, Monday afternoon

Marc couldn't be in the apartment, was the thing.

He didn't want to be anywhere. Marc Spector had solid method to his coping mechanisms and they all boiled down to one concept: just don't. Don't be there. Don't deal.

Only running away wasn't an option because Marc had to consider Steven. And handing the body over to Steven was definitely not an option because as bad as this week was for Marc for Steven it was going to be a thousand times worse.

No prize for guessing if that was Marc's fault, of course.

The Steven of it all was why the apartment was a no go. Too much there that was Steven, too much that was personal. Marc was trying not to deal with memories, thank you, he didn't need help with the reminders.

So he went somewhere that meant nothing to him, which was a quiet bench in the park. And he went there with his last option for coping mechanisms, which was currently contained in a paper bag wrapped bottle at his side.

Maybe if he was lucky he and Steven wouldn't wake up until Sunday.

[For thems who know who they are. Warning for potential sensitive topics in addition to the unhealthy use of alcohol. More specific warnings will go up as needed. Safe for broadcast unless otherwise noted.]

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From:

flamesburned

That afternoon Liz had decided to go for a walk since she was trying to be better about that and she was finding that she was liking being out and taking her time with walks.

She had ended up in the park and then she came to a stop near a park bench when she realised that she recognised who was sitting there and she could see the brown bag, maybe Marc didn’t want company right now but she wanted to check first.

“Marc?” she said softly, hesitant as she approached.

From:

hasaknightjob

Well shit. If it was any other circumstance Marc would've taken Liz showing up as a cue to bail and let Steven handle it. But it wasn't any other circumstance and dumping Steven into anything without warning, this week especially, was beyond cruel.

Luckily Marc hadn't been there that long. He'd finished off what was back in the apartment, yeah, but - other than the wine which he wasn't touching - that had already been running low. This was fine.

"You okay?" he asked. Look, Liz had had her own shit time of it this year. He couldn't rule out life hadn't kicked her in the teeth again.

From:

flamesburned

Liz nodded, biting her lip, “I’m okay,” she assured him, “I … I was just out for a walk,” she told him.

There was another awkward pause, “are you okay?” she asked.

From:

hasaknightjob

"It's fine," Marc told her after a pause that was much longer than should have been needed. It also didn't actually answer her question.

From:

flamesburned

“Oh,” Liz wasn’t sure what she should do, since Marc didn’t seem fine and he hadn’t really answered her question.

Marc had always been so supportive and helpful to her, she didn’t want to just leave, at least not yet.

“Um … if you want to talk or would like some company? I don’t have to go, I can stay here with you … um … if you’d like me to that is,” Liz offered.

From:

hasaknightjob

The answer to the question of whether Marc wanted to talk was always a firm no. But Liz was one of the people on the island who had some idea of what an asshole he was so he didn't feel a need to push her away either. He motioned to indicate she could take a seat if she wanted.

"It's not going to be Steven," he warned her.

From:

flamesburned

Liz tentatively took the seat next to him, “I understand,” she told him softly, “I - I want to help you in whatever way I can,” even if he didn’t want to talk, she was fine with just sitting with him for a while.

From:

hasaknightjob

Another nice thing about Liz was she got the whole protecting Steven thing. And talking about Steven was always better than talking about himself. "Not a good week. Not for him. He shouldn't come out."

Marc unfortunately was only going to have so much say in the matter. Increasingly less say the drunker he got, in fact.

From:

flamesburned

Liz nodded, “I won’t say anything to Steven,” she promised, wondering if that meant she should still stop by the museum to check on him to see if he did turn up.

“Is there anything I can do for you or Steven?” she asked softly.

From:

hasaknightjob

"I'm trying to keep him out of it," Marc said, which was a genuine attempt at an answer. "He wasn't supposed to - I had it. It was fine."

From:

flamesburned

If Liz had been with Steven, she would have tried to reach out a comforting hand for him but she knew Marc didn’t like that, so she kept her hand close in case Marc indicated that he did want a comforting gesture.

“I’m sorry,” she said softly, she knew that Marc was trying, “what wasn’t Steven supposed to do?” she asked gently, she wasn’t sure if this would help.

From:

hasaknightjob

Comfort would've gone over badly, which showed how good Liz's instincts were when it came to dealing with Marc. As it was her knowing Marc and Steven as well as she did was one of the things keeping Marc from pushing her away altogether.

"Ask questions," Marc said. He grimaced. "But that's my fault. It broke. It wasn't supposed to."

From:

flamesburned

Since it looked like Marc didn’t want any comfort right now, Liz kept her hand where it was and listened instead to what Marc was saying.

“Why was it your fault?” she asked gently as she tried to understand, “How was Steven asking questions your fault?”

From:

hasaknightjob

"He wasn't supposed to know," Marc said. He took another drink, though it didn't help anything but keeping things coming out of him he wouldn't ever talk about otherwise. "Any of it. But I couldn't - I wasn't strong enough. I should've protected him and I couldn't."

From:

flamesburned

"I don't understand," Liz said softly, "how have you not protected him? I thought ... Steven always says you protect him," she hoped she wasn't pushing too much, especially since Marc didn't tend to share a lot of anything, she had a feeling that the drinking was definitely not helping in this situation but she didn't know if she should suggest that Marc stop for a while.

"Would you like a bottle of water?" she asked instead, "I keep a spare with me when I go for a walk," she held up the bag she was carrying with her.

From:

hasaknightjob

Marc shook his head, holding up his bottle to show he had something to drink as though that wasn't the problem Liz had been trying to solve.

"I tried," Marc said, now talking like he was apologizing to Liz for failing. "I did. But it fell apart. And then - how was I supposed to stop him? He wouldn't listen. He doesn't listen. He kept pushing and - "

Marc took another drink, trying to drown out all the emotions threatening to overwhelm him.

From:

flamesburned

"I know," Liz said gently, still not quite sure what Marc was talking about, “and I’m sure Steven only wants to try and help, to be there for you, like you are for him,”

She really wished she could do more but at least Marc hadn’t pushed her away yet.

From:

hasaknightjob

"He's supposed to be happy," Marc said, with the slowed speech of someone who needed to take just a bit longer to articulate his words correctly. "He shouldn't be helping. Not about this. But I fucked it up and I can't fix it."

From:

flamesburned

Liz let Marc take his time with his speech, not wanting to try and rush him, she didn't know what was happening but it was evident he was struggling and in pain and she wanted to do what she could for him, "Steven doesn't want you to be miserable though," she said gently, "why can't you fix it?" she asked.

From:

hasaknightjob

"I can't make him not know," Marc said. He laughed, the sound bitter. "I would. Man if I could. But I can't - I can get it before he does, sometimes. But not when he already knows."

Marc looked at Liz. "And - and that doesn't matter. I can take it. That's what I do. He gets the good life. That - that's how it works."

From:

flamesburned

“What don’t you want Steven know?” Liz asked gently, “I’ll make sure he doesn’t find out,”

She wasn’t sure if it worked that way or what she’d do if Steven found on his own but maybe it would help Marc if she just sat and listened to him.

Then she heard the rest of what he was saying, “You deserve to have a good life too,” Liz said gently, “Steven wants that for you,” she added.

From:

hasaknightjob

"He already knows," Marc said, again like he was apologizing to Liz for this screw up. "That's the god damn problem. I tried to keep it from him and I didn't and now it's... it's fucked."

Sadly he wouldn't have been much more articulate about this if he was sober. Frankly he probably would've stuck with not talking at all.

From:

flamesburned

“How …how is it …you know,” Liz wasn’t really that much of a prude but some things had stuck with her from her childhood and swearing was one of them, so she did try to avoid it if she could … even though Marc’s word choice seemed pretty accurate from what she was able to tell, “maybe there’s a way to fix it?” she tried. "I could help you if you'd like?"

From:

hasaknightjob

"I don't know," Marc said. His shoulders slumped in defeat. "I can't make him forget. I know it's hurting him. I'm trying to keep him away this week but - "

Marc shook his head, silently acknowledging that he knew these days his luck at keeping Steven under lock and key only lasted so long.

From:

flamesburned

Liz hesitated, “maybe … maybe you can try talking to Steven?” she said softly, “I’m sure if you talked to him, he would understand …especially if he’s hurting as well,”

She knew the odds of it happening weren’t great but it could maybe help if Marc did try and talk to someone and she knew he wouldn’t want to see a psychiatrist.

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